Let the Search Begin...

Over the past few days I have accepted, and even perhaps embraced, the fact that we will not be having a Mission Inn wedding. It could, in fact, be for the best. For starters, I can take another look at places which are (as we now know) much cheaper and more flexible than the Mission Inn. Also, since we still have the luxury of time, I can search around for places more off the beaten path which allow for more creativity and a different style.

I've been pouring over my favorite wedding blogs, in particular Green Wedding Shoes and Junebug Weddings, as well as some photographers' blogs such as Jagger photography, for venue ideas. So far two have stuck out as good candidates:

1. Crestmore Manor, Riverside

These are from the wedding of Heather Jagger, one of my most favorite photographers, taken by Dana Grant. I like that this venue is in a pretty convenient location, near Mt. Rubidoux, that it is pretty inexpensive to rent, and I would have complete creative freedom with both design and in choosing vendors. That being said, it does create more of a challenge when every tiny detail needs to be addressed, which is where a wedding coordinator (or perhaps a very good friend who takes on such a role!) may become necessary to help run things.

2. Marvimon House, Downtown Los Angeles

So with this one, the location isn't quite as ideal, and I actually haven't found out the cost of it yet, but it seems really unique and interesting. Outside vendors are allowed, but they offer their own caterers. Maybe not the most feasible place, but I think it's worth looking into at least for the fun of it.

We still have a lot to think about and consider over the next few months, but at least I've found some interesting possibilities for our wedding location. Anything could happen, and that just makes things all the more exciting.

A Sad Day on Mission Inn Ave.

I have been looking forward to today for quite some time. Today was the wedding open house at the Mission Inn Hotel, the planned location for our reception. Since before we were even engaged, we have been saying that we were going to have our wedding here because it was the best value for the money and it is uniquely gorgeous and historic-feeling. We have been to the expo twice before and were never disappointed in the venue itself, although the vendors on display weren't always the greatest. And besides, the cake samples, chocolate fondue fountains, and champagne are always there in abundance. This year I was all set to put down our deposit for our special day in June, 2011. Sure, it's still 18 months away, but I figured better safe than sorry since that is the peak of wedding season. I was also excited since this time I actually had my ring and could legitimately ask questions and inquire about more specifics since I've already had about a year to plan.

We arrived and immediately noticed new details added to the hotel, including a giant vintage cage with two macaws at the entrance, which was neat. We entered the biggest room, the Music Room, and I immediately noticed that the color scheme the florist had used was one of the same ones I was considering, taking it as a good sign. We chatted with a couple of vendors, and on our way into the next room a DJ company stopped us and mentioned during their promotion that the hotel has a new wedding policy that people are only allowed to use Mission Inn preferred vendors, not just for food and such, but EVERYTHING from lighting, to DJs, to photographers. Everything except the invitations and the wedding dress, basically. This immediately worried me, but Darryl insisted that this could not be the case, maybe they were just saying that to get us to sign with them. We moved on to the Spanish Art Gallery, the room we were planning on using, and got some more cake, and talked with a couple more unenthusiastic vendors.

We continued on to the spiral staircase and went up the the third room which had refreshments and tables to meet with the coordinators to put down deposits. After nibbling nervously on an orange cupcake, we sat down with a consultant who inquired about our date, and then said that they no longer book weddings more than a year in advance. And then the second question, about the vendors: it is true, they do not allow outside vendors unless we pay a $300 fine and get them to sign up for the hotel liability insurance. In addition, they have raised their prices for the meals about $10-20 a plate. Well, shoot. We got up and I grabbed another glass of champagne with which to drown my sorrows and made our way to the fountain to sit and have another look at their new packets of information. How could it be? We have always planned on having our reception here, for over a year if not longer, have told everyone, and put it up on the website, that this would be the itinerary, and now...

The issue with hiring preferred vendors is that there are only 2-4 vendors available per category (flowers, photography, etc.), they tend to cost way more than outside vendors (about $2-3,000 more, each) at least compared to the ones I had already chosen, and they are quite frankly not nearly as talented or creative as other, better professionals (in my view, anyway). The wedding schemes I saw today were pretty cookie-cutter, and it seems that this is all that is allowed in such a place as the Mission Inn because of liability issues, perhaps since it is a historic monument. Some may be OK with this, but someone like me who has spend countless hours, months, planning a more personalized, creative vision for my wedding, could not be so satisfied.

So. Now we are back at square one. Needless to say, I'm kind of pissed. I'm cursing internally, to be honest. This was the one thing since the beginning which was set in stone. I bought my dress to match the Mission Inn style, in my own vintage kind of way. The kinds of colors and flowers I have looked at and saved files of pictures of may be for nothing. Who knows, maybe six months from now we go back and they've discovered that raising their prices and allowing only in-house vendors during an economic depression in the middle of a hot-bed of foreclosures wasn't the best idea and would maybe cut us a deal, but I doubt it. In the mean time, I'm relying on my inner wedding coordinator to find us a new, better place, possibly much different from my original ideas. Regardless, in 18 months we will be married, whether it may happen in Riverside or the Redwoods, we shall see.

Hello 2010

Right now I am with Darryl, our laptops side-by-side, sitting at the kitchen counter at Reesa's house with the whirl of the new Cuisinart ice cream maker my parents gave Darryl for Christmas in the background. Last night he made spearmint ice cream, tonight we are having cookies n' cream. Either one combined with the from-scratch dark chocolate brownies I made yesterday could possibly be the answer to world peace.

So. Happy New Year once again! We had a blast ringing in the new year with old friends at the Carmona's (and at the neighbor's across the street) in Corona. I think this is the first time one of our friends has thrown a new year's party and it was a huge success. Rockband, lasagna, sparkling cider, a bonfire, loud salsa and techno music, and illegal fireworks make for a fun party any day.

Every year I make a mental list of goals and dreams for the new year. This year is pretty much the same as always: spend less, save more, work out, eat better, cut back on Starbucks. I guess they are all kind of interrelated. This year though, is serious business. I have a rough estimate of how much I really, seriously, need to save up for the wedding by this time next year to avoid mountains of wedding debt. Also, now that I actually have my dress, and since I'm fairly certain I've already gained at least a couple of pounds since I bought it, some kind of self-control should probably begin to take place in terms of food and espresso drinks. Working out would probably also be a good idea. I'm still working out the specifics on how I'm going to approach these things in a more effective and realistic way than I have tried in the past. Perhaps bringing up a need for more self-discipline in my prayer circle. Then again, that's one of those things you should really be careful about asking for.

My biggest issue is that in theory going grocery shopping and cooking instead of eating out everyday should save money, and be healthier than restaurant food, especially fast food. However, I tend to be kind of picky when it comes to buying ingredients with which to cook or bake things since if I tend to not think as much about what goes into restaurant food as much as what I'm consciously allowing into my own culinary creations. If I'm going to get meat or poultry, it's going to be organic or at least antibiotic/pesticide free, which can often cost a great deal more than conventional meat, for example. Also, it's harder than you might think to buy a week's worth of groceries for one person and have just the right amount of things without perishible items going bad and still having enough of a variety of things to eat every day. When Darry was living on his own, he could survive on peanut butter, whole wheat bread, instant oatmeal or cream of wheat, protein shakes, bottled water, baby carrots, and bananas. Of course we would still end up eating somewhere for dinner almost every weeknight. During our 3 day attempt at the South Beach Diet, we had to buy groceries for us to share, which was quite the task because of both budgetary and dietary considerations; part of the reason it only lasted 3 days. I know that it should be a fairly simple task to plan out meals for the week, make a list, and stick to it, but it always seems like I end up spending way more than I would just getting my southwest chicken salad from McDonald's for lunch at work (or Flamebroiler, or Subway, etc.). However, healthwise, I know cooking more often would be best for my heart function and blood glucose levels, and obviously when Darryl and I get married, I hope that we will eat at home as much as possible (especially if I get at least half of the stuff on our registry). So. I'm working on it. If I can make this work for myself my hope is that it'll be much easier when I'm shopping and cooking for two. Or maybe I'll just save my grocery money for baking more things.

Speaking of which, Darryl's ice cream is done, and it kicks store-bought cookies n' cream in the butt.

2009 Wrap-up

So here we are, at the end of possibly the most thrilling, exhausting, unexpectedly exciting year yet of our nearly 3-year relationship. One year ago we were not yet engaged (though Darryl had just picked-up the ring), we had just gotten Dewey but did not yet have Ginger, we lived ten minutes away from each other, Darryl had just finished his BA at Vanguard and had not yet been accepted to UCR, we had no idea we would be traveling to Chicago, or anywhere else for that matter, our flower girl had not yet been born, and Darryl's X-box was fresh out of the package having been shipped through UPS where he still worked hideous holiday hours. The list of significant events over the past year alone goes on and on, and it's truly hard to imagine what this upcoming year has to offer.

Two major events to catch-up on: Chicago and the dress...

We took our first vacation together to Chicago back in November! I had vacation time to use up, and Darryl had the week off of school for Thanksgiving, so we hopped on a plane and went to visit our fabulous hosts, Justin and Meesa. I was hesitant at first, since we are trying to save up for a wedding afterall, but we needed to get away and have a real adventure before the craziness of this upcoming year begins. Chicago totally lived-up to my high expectations, since I've never met anyone who has been there and hated it, and made us greatly miss good public transportation, chilly weather, old buildings, and the other perks of city life when we returned to the OC.

One of the most exciting things we did on our trip was visit the Macy's bridal salon, the biggest and oldest department store I think I have ever seen, and the only one that has a bridal department in the country.

I had mentioned to Meesa before we arrived that the Macy's in downtown Chicago had a bridal salon and that if we had time we might try to sneek in and try-on a dress or two for the fun of it. Meesa, being as wedding crazy as I am, squealed with glee via AIM and when we were wandering around town our second night there, we stopped by to see if they were open. As it turns out, Chicago has two Macy's and we were at the wrong one. So we traveled all the way to the correct location, the one by the Chicago Theater where we took our (awesome!) Chicago sign pictures, only to find that the bridal department was already closed for the day, but they had fliers out advertising their sample sale which started the following morning by appointment only. So the plan was then to return to the apartment and call them in the morning to see if there was some slim chance they actually had an appointment slot available the next afternoon. So as luck would have it, I called early the next morning and was actually able to get an official appointment for my very first dress shopping extravaganza in the one-and-only Macy's bridal salon! I honestly felt kind of guilty since I had no plans of actually buying a dress and knew I would probably just be wasting some poor consultant's time, and had... well, lied.. about my exact wedding date since I knew if I said "June, 2011" they would never take me seriously because only a crazy person would buy her dress over 18 months before her expected wedding date...right?

So, after touring the Shedd Aquarium and browsing downtown and Millenium Park once again, we (me, Meesa, and yes, Darryl) headed boldly in the direction of Macy's. We were about forty minutes early so while Darryl searched the 30-something floors for a restroom, Meesa and I took a look at the selection of bridesmaids dresses. They definitely left something to be desired... like taste, or style perhaps. This made me rather concerned about their possible selection of bridal gowns, but even if all I tried on that day were horrible dresses, we'd still have fun doing it. Then they told me I could start looking at the gowns on display for ideas and at the racks of sample gowns for sale, most of which were 50% off or more. Once again, I was a bit underwhelmed. The gowns on display were just not my style and were insanely overpriced, and most of the sample gowns were stained, damaged, or just laughably ugly. My consultant came out and asked if I had seen anything I'd like to try on, and on a whim I picked a lace dress off the rack because I liked the train, but didn't have high hopes for it. It was the very first dress I tried on...

And as cheesy as it sounds, I knew right when she zipped it up and I saw myself in the mirror that this was my dress. Of course I didn't say that right then; afterall, this was the only dress I had ever tried on, so how was I supposed to know it was the one? But out of all the dresses I had this one on the longest since the consultant was gathering other gowns for me to try, and so we had plenty of time to admire it and for more people to walk-by and gasp with approval (which I'll admit felt pretty darn good). But then it was time to move on to more dresses...

Dress #2 was a cinderella-like ball gown, which I don't have a picture of, but lets just say it brought out my inner-disney-princess-sparkle-cupcake.

Dress #3: This dress was actually what I kind of assumed I would like for a pretty long time - mermaid/trumpet sillhouette, straps, silk taffeta, and some beading but not all over the gown. As it turns out, I was wrong. While it did give me a version of my figure I did not know existed, I was ready to move-on and try on the next one.

Dress #4: Once again, this dress was something that could have been a possibility in my mind, and I was wrong. Very wrong. It basically replaced my chest with fabric petals.

Dress #5 (I think I messed-up the order, oops): This one was actually a close contender with the first dress. I liked the shape of it, and there was some but not a lot of beading, but it still just didn't quite seem me.

Dresses #6 & 7: The last two dresses were, well, not worth getting pictures of, except for maybe comic relief (and I think the consultant was starting to notice Meesa taking pictures with my iPhone behind her back, hehe). The were both polyester, both had a giant fake flower on the side, had clear plastic beading, and the last one was topped off with a black velvet sash at the waist. It's amazing what can still cost over a thousand dollars these days.

So then my hour was up and the consultant made no assumptions about me buying any of the gowns since I had mentioned that we were from California and were on vacation, but she was cool about it and just gave me the sku numbers for the two dresses that I liked so that I could try to find them online. I got back into my street clothes and stared at the first dress which was still on the rack in the dressing room. I really liked it. The more I thought about it, the more perfect it actually was, lack of beading and all. It had kind of a vintage feel, but without being old-fashioned, if that's possible. I walked back out to Darryl and Meesa, still mulling over the dress, and ended up going back in the room to take it back to the racks outside so we could look at it again. I agonized over it for a good 45 minutes or so, wondering if I should just take it, or deal with trying to find it somewhere back home, probably not at the sample sale 50% off price, or not finding it at all and trying to get a similar dress by another designer. By this time I'd attracted the attention of my consultant again, as well as her coworker, who stood back and analyzed my dilemma for themselves. There was no pressure from them, just my own paranoia about not being able to let this dress go. Even Darryl loved the dress, but it was up to me to make the final call. So then I said it: Alright, I'll take it, I'm saying yes to the dress! Everyone in the room cheered, I signed the paperwork, she swiped my credit card (afterwhich I had to call the customer service line in India to tell CapitalOne that I was, indeed, in Chicago making a major purchase, afterwhich the guy on the other end extended his congratulations), and then the dress was mine.

There was just one little issue: we were still in the middle of downtown Chicago and were not planning on heading back to the apartment right away since we were meeting Justin at a place to have Chicago-style hotdogs for dinner. So, Darryl carried my plastic-wrapped dress all over the city, on the subway and all, for the rest of the evening, until we returned and had to pack it with the rest of our luggage on the flight back home the next morning. The good news is that the dress survived, and although it still needs to be altered and cleaned, it's still my perfect dress and I have no regrets whatsoever.

I do, of course, realize that there are many people who wanted to be there when I bought my dress, but I promise that there will be an appropriate reveal after it's altered and the design is finalized. I also realize that I broke a pretty major tradition of not allowing the groom to see the bride in her gown before the wedding, but I was actually already considering that before I even booked the flights to Chicago. Darryl was watching Say Yes to the Dress with me one day, and he mentioned the possibility of shopping for my dress with me, and after I thought about it for awhile, it made perfect sense. Brides go bridal shopping with their best clothes shopping buddy, and for me that is Darryl, and it would have been an even harder decision without him there to say he loved it. I wouldn't trade the fun experience I had that day for anything.

Done with one year, and on to the next. This year will have much more in store for the wedding as we get closer and closer to the big day. Let's keep a tally of how many times I change my mind on color schemes, shall we... or maybe a drinking game would be more like it. Happy New Year and cheers to 2010!

Floralific

In an effort to be more like a real bridal blog, I decided to make an inspiration board of my favorite florals for the big day: pink peonies, billy buttons, and garden roses. Ta-da!

Something Old

As everyone knows by now, my grandfather passed away earlier this week. He was really the only grandparent I ever had since my grandma and the other older relatives passed-on before I was born; this will also be the first funeral I will attend for one of my own family members. Most of my memories of him are of the couple of years when he picked me up from school everyday. Every single day he pulled up to my elementary school with a double cheeseburger, fries, and a rootbeer or a shake from Carl's Jr. It's a mystery how I wasn't obese. Then we would drive to my brother's high school and talk about my day until my brother made his way out to the car. I also remember when he speant a very long time in Toys 'R Us trying to pick-out a Barbie wedding dress for my birthday present one year. So while I can't say we always had very much in common, I knew that he was always there for me no matter what, no questions asked.

To be completely honest, I was kind of surprised by how much his death has affected me since we had all been expecting it to happen for the past few months. After a lot of thinking and talking with Darryl, I think that it's because I now feel kind of disconnected from my past. While my family has always shared stories and old photographs of little bits of our family history, I don't think it ever mattered as much to me as it does now. It wasn't until now, in the midst of planning my wedding and beginning to form a new family with Darryl (and the cats), that I've become more curious about what happened way back when my grandparents, and great-grandparents, got married and made all kinds of decisions that sealed the fate of the family's future. All of the sudden it matters a lot more to me what happened to my grandmother's wedding dress and rings, or my great-grandmother's antique dishes. Sure, I have tons of stuff from my own mother, as well as little things from my childhood that I'm saving just in case we have a daughter someday, but it would be nice to find something from our earliest known history to feel a connection to.

So while I am going to try and hunt down some of those things, ultimately I can focus on the memories I alone have, and also on the fact that Darryl and I can create those kinds of heirlooms for our own kids and grandkids so that they can have "something old" for their wedding days.

Fall Update

I know, I know, it's been a very long time since my last blog. It's a good thing I don't have one of those bridal blogs with sponsors and such or else they would have all left by now. Honestly, I really have been busy. This is probably the hardest and most time consuming semester of my degree. After this quarter it should be smooth-sailing, so hopefully more blogs will follow.

Also, my whole office went to San Francisco for a weekend, which was a very nice break from the normal day-to-day, but proved to not tame my travel lust but to make it greater. So the good news is that Darryl and I will be taking our first real vacation together in November to Chicago to visit Justin and Meesa for three blisteringly cold days. I was hesitant to drop that much cash on plane tickets when we are supposed to be saving for our wedding (606 days from today), but truth be told, if all I do is focus on the wedding this early in the game, I will surely lose my mind. Thus, the trip is a much needed distraction, not to mention one of those rare opportunities to travel to a new place, and to buy cute outerwear.

Darryl's student teaching is well underway now. Despite the exhaustion of actually teaching classes all day in addition to still having night classes, he loves teaching and is very happy with his career move. We went to our very first high school dance (seriously, ever) last weekend as chaperones and discovered that we didn't miss much as teenagers. Maybe winter formal will be better. Homecoming consisted of sitting at a table with the other student teachers, watching a door which security opened up later anyway, for four hours. We learned two things: DJs are still using the same music that was popular when we were in high school, and teenagers dancing is like watching a big group of little animals in heat. I feel so old.

Personally, I've decided that if I can't handle teaching one day, I'll become a pastry chef. Some back-up plan, right? I've recently discovered that I'm actually pretty good at cake decorating, even the more complicated stuff. Making things pretty with icing is like a zen experience, as long as you don't get too stressed-out by it. Pastry school would be fun and exciting, but is very expensive. Maybe if we win the lottery or retire rich I could have my very own little cupcake and wedding patisserie. Rest assured, though, I'm not crazy enough to try and make my own wedding cake; we'll leave that to the professionals. In the mean time, you can all expect some very impressive birthday cakes in the future.